I think it’s time for a rerun.

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“Howdy y’all” Said the president the crowd was hushed with anticipation this was his resignation speech his last speech as President of the United States of America.  Would he admit all his wrong doings as the left wanted all this time?

“Y’all know me by now, and if you are a dem the mere mention of my name will send the ticker thumpin an extra few beats a minute. I’m, George Bush and this is supposed to be my resignation speech.”

“You know during my term I noticed there were a few around the world who were somewhat tepid towards the administration.  I mean it must have something to do with public relations,  people who supported Chavez and Kim Jong il while they make themselves dictators for life, Castro who made himself a dictator until life support and they even gave more approval to Robert Mugabe’s financial policies than mine! Even though with the latest market correction you still don’t need a million US dollars to buy a loaf of bread unlike the Zimbucks. Now since I’m far better than these animals, do I shoot journalists, did I at least take my case to the UN before invading Georgia, I sure did.  I had protests, my new comrades never get protests, their human rights violations are legendary yet generate nary a whisper across the countries universities.   Some of you might have caught on where this is going.”

“As you look around you will notice the strong Marine Corps presence.  Well there’s a reason for that, all you people in the press have upset me, you really pissed me off.  Your biased views and making fun of me, calling me a dictator time after time, well maybe I should act like one, y’all know what Castro would do, you all have to die.”

“Now I don’t want there to be any hard feelings about this.  I’m only doing it to build warmth and friendliness.  See I can’t help noticing that y’all seem to like dictators who kill journalists.  So I figure if I pop a few of you off you will start to like me a little more. Are there any Questions so far?”

At this point someone from CNN raised their hand and said “Excuse me MR Bush, but,….”

Bang, bang rang out the double tap from the M16.

At that point 2 marines dragged the body from the room.

The President and dictator for life at this point smirked knowingly winked at the Marine Colonel nearby.  Things were well in hand his Praetorians were well trained at the secret base set up by FEMA and Donald Rumsfield. The President for life resumed his speech.

“Now you students who remain so quiet when China Obliterates Tibet, when Muslims go nuts in the Philippines, well it’s expected you will also  remain quiet now, feel free to use the same rationalizations you did for Darfur, Timor, etc.  And sleep tight or the chains will bite, heh, heh get it?  See that’s a threat.”

“I see by some of you look confused. well after the casualties match those in the countries of the commie t shirts you wear, you will somehow lose your naivety and your confusion lest you too end up in the gulags, killing fields or rolled over by the cultural revolution.”

“Anyway I’m here today to announce myself as dictator for life.  Yes, yes you prattled on for years about how I’m some terrible dictator so this should shock absolutely no one on the left.  Obviously it will surprise zero of you to hear that I’m not stepping down.  I wouldn’t want the last eight years of your boiler plate ramblings about how I’m a fascist dictator to be a bunch of long horned lies, now would I?”

“So on the fourth be not troubled about whether to vote for McCain or that fine upstanding Obama chap.  I’ll be around as long as Castro was.  So y’all can put your little minds at rest.  After all you called me a dictator more than once and by God, now I will be.”

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“My first order of business will be to increase surveillance.  All you suffering from the Bush derangement syndrome be careful there’s only so much room in the Gulags, eh. Yet even though there’s limited space I’m assured there’s never a delay getting people in and no overcrowding, I have no idea how that Pol Pot guy can do it but for diversity sake we decided to let the dictator run the gulags.  He promises efficiency and no need to waste tax money on affordable housing projects.”

“Mr Pot has dealt with urban sprawl in the past.  He promises me that we can cut our greenhouse gas emissions by one third in just a few years, now lets all hope for change on this.  By the time my trusted advisor the esteemed Mr Pot, has his “fields o bones” program in operation for 10 or so years we guarantee all Kyoto milestones will be met.  I expect to feel a lot of love from the left on this.  More than I ever got for having a more enviro friendly home than Gore or Clinton ever had.”

“We also have a little surprise for the KOS crowd.  Every time one of their IP’s is tracked in every Urban centre soldiers of the US infantry stand by to take you down or out.  The funny thing was they all volunteered for this.  Y’all called me an evil person so often that I kinda know it will make you happy to have your worst fears confirmed as you are shipped off to Gulags for a little reeducation.  Maybe any of you who survive will come out acting like Michelle Malkins who will be given the post minister of the interior.”

“In conclusion many of you out there said that the war was all about oil, said I wanted to own the oil, that I was a dictator, well enough of these unfounded rumors.  Now I’ll give them a solid foundation, I’ll be the dictator you wanted.  Oil well Chavez has oil and in about 5 minutes the marines will start landing to bloody well take it.  Congress will also be effected, we expect it to be a lot smaller by the time the new constitution is signed into law, but by god those who survive will have good reasons to call me what the left already does.”

At this point Mr Bush slowly raised his arms forward and skyward It was the signal for everyone to clap.

Only one journalist survived.